This movie could have been good . I got to about 15 minutes towards the end and realised that it was a remake ( slow day ) and figured Nick was fucking toast. Then I realised that the movie sucked ass just like that stupid fucking Skeleton Key movie where the bad guys win.
Did I just spoil this for anyone? I hope I did because it was a waste of my time and I hope I stop someone from hiring this out.
If this movie stayed with the program from the point where Nick kicks that chick from The Glass house into a wall ( which was fucking awesome )and lays the smack down on Kathy Bates and then went on to wipe out an entire island of Furries. From this point on I could have written two endings.
1.
Nick Cage kicks the fuck out of Kathy Bates and the other girl and gets dressed up in a bear suit. He then runs off to the Bee Mistresses little get together and steals the little girl. The little girl leads him to the trap where his ex-fiance hold out the bullets from his gun and smiles smugly to which Nick reponds by shooting the Bee Mistress right in the fucking head and says "You forgot the one in the chamber". Everyone craps their pants because they're all fucking retarded and haven't realised that Nick is now officially out of bullets. He takes the opportunity to cunt punt that dosile ex-lay of his right into the ocean. Roll the mother fucking credits
2. Everything that happened then except the kicking whats-her-face into the ocean. Instead Nick makes his get away while all the other Furries are crying over the Bee Mistresses now chunky headed body. Cut to six months later where Nick's Dosile Ex and That chick he kicked into a wall are at the bar. Obviously they've got a new colony going and are looking for the next guy to be a sacrafice. Now the scene happens just like it did in the movie but instead the dialog goes like along these lines.
"Oh hey tiger I'm new in town blah blah blah"
"That's great you look new etc etc"
"Balh bla blibbity blah. What do you do?"
"I'm a rapist" Roll the fucking credits.
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